Just thinking out loud

Today has been sort of a "blah" day. Not sure what the real definition of that is but just feels like it. Nothing spectacular. Too many thoughts running through my head. Just one of those days where you just wonder 'why bother'.
I am trying to figure out in my own mind why I do some of the things I do. Not important things-just like writing here and putting pages in online galleries. I think I am better off going back to being a looker (no, not one who people look at lol) but just observing. There's something in the human that desires to be noticed and appreciated. Something that wants to hear-hey ya know what, that looks pretty good. Whether we clean the house, get a new hairdo, whatever it is. And, no matter how many times we tell ourselves it doesn't matter, I think deep inside it does matter. It's just in our nature. Not sure where my mind is on this whole thing right now so I guess I will have to think some more about it.

Maybe it's that I read about other people's lives and everything sounds so exciting and interesting. My life isn't so exciting right now. It is to me and my family-it's always exciting to us what the Lord is doing in us and through us. We go through so much and yet we are constantly amazed how faithful God is. We learn a lot each day, but it's certainly not anything anyone else cares about or might even understand. Our life is just different. We moved away from everything and everyone we knew and loved to serve God. That was my husband's calling and we don't doubt it for a minute. But, it's a hard life. Good but hard. Anyway, I don't know why I am very emotional right now to tears so I am going to stop writing.
I guess it makes me homesick to read about everyone and their families and all the festivities they enjoy together. So, tomorrow will be a better day. Knowing me I will probably come back and erase this because it will sound too stupid to me later on.