In Memory

Today marks the one year anniversary for our dear friends son who passed away. He was the cutest, most boyish boy I have ever met. He was only 11 years old when he died. It was a freak accident on a jungle gym. This event rocked my world in ways I couldn't imagine. We had stayed with this family in their guest house the summer before when we were back in CA. Every morning Johnny would come over (very early) and want to see if my husband was up. He was such a guitar player and my husband would play guitar with him. Johnny had so much life in him. The day he died, there on his bed lay his guitar and a Praise and Worship book that he used for practice. When we were told of his death I couldn't understand God and His ways. It shook the core of all I believed in all these years. I had to prepare to teach at a women's conference that weekend and the theme was about God's Love. It was such a struggle for me to even study for this because at the time I didn't understand a loving God taking away such a precious child who had so much to offer. Why did He want him in Heaven rather than here on the earth. And how could I possibly teach other's on God's love when I struggled with it myself at the time. I realized I would never have the answers to my questions. But by faith I had to believe -I had to believe that when God says ALL things work together for good-that even through this tragedy God would work out good. How He would, or even when he would, I don't know. But that is where faith comes in. Trusting that which you don't understand and that which you can't see with your eyes.
My heart aches and cries for the loss of this little one. You see, because of medical reasons I could never have a baby. And the Lord blessed us with adopting our daughter. Years later, we heard about Johnny's situation and we wanted to adopt him. He looked like everything I had imagined that a child of my own would look like. He was only about 2 and just so cute, so blond and so boy. But, it wasn't meant to be. Instead the Lord chose one of my best friend's family to adopt him. It was such a trial for me and I was jealous, angry at times and even then questioned the will of God. But, my friend and I always could talk so openly and cry openly together. Through the years that followed, I saw how perfect God's will was and they were truely the right family for him. And then, last year, this happened. I haven't been able to see my friend since Johnny passed away. But, we will see each other next month and over tea we will remember and we will cry and mourn together.
I put this song and video on my blog today. If you are reading this then I would just ask that you take a few minutes, (I am so sorry for those on dial-up but I wanted this video today) please watch the video. Listen to the lyrics. Whatever you think about Jesus, if you don't believe in Him, if you doubt Him, please listen anyway. Put aside your doubts for the next few moments and allow this song and the video to touch your heart. If you are a Christian, then also listen and allow the Lord to minister to you through this. Allow Him to show you that He is who He says He is ~ and all you may be holding onto in your life, all the pain and the questions, give them over to Him. Life isn't easy-Christian or not a Christian, the bible says it rains on the just and the unjust. In this world Jesus says, We will have tribulation, but be of good cheer because He has overcome the world. There is a real burden in my heart today that someone who is reading this needs the touch of Jesus. I wouldn't say this if I didn't believe it.
I made this layout for the day. It was just so simple and beautiful to me. I bought the April DM Magazine and this kit was in it. I love this paper that was in the kit!!! The moment I saw it I knew it was the one to use for the lyrics of this song. ( I think Michelle Coleman made this paperand the design comes on it already) The song is called "Cry Out To Jesus" by Third Day. I pray you enjoy it :)

Have a blessed day and if you have children, give them a big hug today :)